Don’t give me Lettuce and Tell me It’s Tailgate (Rules Rant)


-Begin Rant-

(please don’t take this too serious :p)

Earlier today I was half listening to a food channel on TV when I heard something so horrendous my daughter may be permanently scarred just by being in the room. “And now our AMAZING Salad perfect for the Big Game with Fresh Lettuce, lemon juice, homemade croutons, olive oil, and light parmesan cheese.” (those are the only ingrediants…seriously)
For anyone who doesn’t know, the “Big Game” the host referred to is the Super Bowl (that’s right American football). And the “amazing salad” I am pretty sure refers to whatever drugs she took before she came up with her menu. I know that may be harsh, but in my world anytime you are making food for any sports, there are some rules that should NEVER be broken.


  1. Lettuce is for topping, wrapping, and feeding to small children who you wish to torture

  2. If a fork and knife are required; leave it in the fridge

  3. If your table can’t hold all the food, get a bigger table

  4. Chips, crackers, fingers, and tortillas, are the only “utensils” you really need

  5. For everyone’s safety make sure you can have food the second the pre-game startssad football

  6. All food should be easily obtained and devoured without obstructing the view of the TV


If you want to lighten up “typical” game day food then fine….make smaller portions, switch out fried for baked, lighten the amount of dips and cheeses, but don’t give me lettuce and tell me it’s Tailgate.